Regret
by randomcat23
Summary: Irvine didn't regret anything in his life. Except this job, maybe he could regret this one, considering it was the one that ended his life.


**Disclaimer:** Zoids belongs to its proper owners.

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**Note:** I just felt like writing some angst. Little dialogue, but hopefully it doesn't drag. If it does, feel free to let me know.

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It had started off like any other job.

His employer had met him in a bar in a small, rundown town on the southern border of the Empire. Like other people looking for mercenaries, he was well-dressed, nervous, but determined; he was very easy to pick out in a stale, old battered bar such as this one.

There was an air of superiority surrounding the blonde-haired man as if he had the right to frown at the condition of the place; Irvine smirked. They always thought they were better than everyone else, but came down to the lower class for help. Hypocrites.

The promise of money had drawn Irvine in and held him tight; any warning flags that had appeared were quickly brushed away as nothing. The job was supposed to be filled with challenging opponents even for a pilot as accomplished as Irvine. The terrain was perfect for the Lightning Saix; flat, bare plains scattered with large rocks and a steep canyon wall. In short, it was an ideal job for a mercenary starving for work.

The main goal was simple: kill the thugs who had threatened the rich man's life.

Irvine shook the man's hand with a confident smile, confirmed a swift and well-done job, finished off his beer and exited the bar to prepare for the journey.

Once outside, a cool breeze brushed his cheek and Irvine sucked it in. Nothing was better than a new job and the calm summer air. What else could a wandering mercenary look forward too? He climbed into the cockpit of the Lightning Saix, his proud Zoid whose armor shone like black gems in the sun.

After making the last checks for equipment, Irvine tugged on the controls and urged his Zoid forward with a content grin on his face, "Let's ride."

And so the job commenced.

Day slipped into night, night slowly moved to dawn and dawn brightened to another day. The Lightning Saix had made great time; its speedy legs left dust trails faster than the blink of an eye. It was a quick and uneventful trip to their destination, a barren landscape far from any civilization and therefore far from army officers.

Irvine took precautions before charging in, just like any other job. He scanned the area with his eye patch and took note of all the earth mounds that could interrupt bullets aiming for the Saix. Rock ledges made natural steps into the canyon gorge. After finding the area clear, Irvine had the Saix stand up and race down to the deep scar in the ground in hopes of finding their targets.

It was sunny and a warm breeze blew through the area easily; it was not a day that would bode trouble.

As soon as the feline Zoid reached the canyon floor, however, the peace was shattered. A shot came from the front, whizzed passed Irvine and the Lightning Saix to destroy the natural steps that had let them enter their trap. Cursing profusely, Irvine fingered the trigger and returned fire. A Raynos soared to the sky and three Konig Wolves emerged from around the corner to confront the intruder, looking very much like their animal counterparts.

The Lightning Saix let out a frustrated roar and charged the unexpected enemies. Teeth caught a back leg and pulled, ripping the metal and wires that held it together. Claws slashed at the nearby opponents, striking anything that came within range. And even though Irvine pushed the Saix further and completely mangled the one Konig Wolf, something in the back of his head pleaded escape.

He hadn't planned on fighting in a canyon; the walls were steep and narrow making it difficult to run. Irvine had wanted to lure the enemies out onto the plain and finish them off by overwhelming them with the Lightning Saix's speed.

Another Konig Wolf stepped in as soon as the first one fell, head butting the Lightning Saix and biting its muzzle. Backed up against a wall, the only choice was to leap forward. Metal flakes scattered the ground after the Saix's claws scratched the Wolf's armor. Another scratch and a bite let Irvine run past his enemy, gaining him five seconds to think.

A wild cackling came from the third Wolf as he stepped in to assist his partner. Together they cornered the Lightning Saix against the rocky wall and the shadows. Irvine sucked in a deep breath and reluctantly came to a conclusion; this had been a set up. The attack was too well-executed to be a random encounter.

But still, he wouldn't run, he wouldn't flee. The bastard that had sent him here would pay up whether he did so willingly or not. Irvine clenched his teeth as he watched the movements of the Wolves. There wasn't any way they could outrun him.

Just as their paws were yards away from the cornered Saix, Irvine let out a yell, engaged the speed boosters and the Lightning Saix leapt over the two Zoids and sprinted down the canyon. The thundering of claws let Irvine knew they were being followed, but he had to lower the speed in order to make the tight, winding turns. After miles of rocky ground and steep, smooth walls Irvine began to give up on making it back to the surface. The fight would be decided on the canyon floor.

He pulled the brakes suddenly and without warning, turned the Saix and charged into the faces of the Konig Wolves. The Lightning Saix managed to shatter a leg on one of the Wolves before sprinting past them and then spun again in hopes of doing the same to the other. A loud _crack _echoed off the walls and the Saix was sent to the ground, a boulder lying by its side.

The Raynos hovered overhead, rocks of various sizes in its claws. It dropped another one onto the Saix's back leg and another barely missed the cockpit. More rocks tumbled from the sky as Irvine struggled to regain his bearings. Blood made a sticky stream down his temple and there was little feeling left in his right leg. Outside the Wolves surrounded the wounded Zoid, pleasant grins on their white faces.

"_Boss will be happy with this one," _came from one Wolf.

The other answered, _"The bastard broke my back leg!" _He then moved his limping Zoid to kick the Saix's head, sending Irvine in another spin. _"It's a good thing we were told to kill him because I wouldn't take him back alive anyway!"_ The man continued to rant.

The voices didn't register in Irvine's brain; he had but one thought: Get out of the canyon. Stiffly, Irvine gripped the controls, but couldn't focus on the blurry images that filled his vision. Just as the cockpit was coming back into view another blow from the side sent the Lightning Saix and its pilot rolling. Blood spattered the window when the Zoid finally fell to a rest. Irvine coughed several times and spat out a loosened tooth.

White forms outside circled the black Zoid like sharks, their green eyes glimmered. Once again, Irvine grasped the controls shaking and pleaded, "Get up Saix, get up!" It answered him with a pathetic growl and slowly brought its front paws underneath its body. Irvine could feel his Zoid's pain; never have they been so beaten. But the determination to win still ran through both of them.

Finally, the Saix managed to raise itself up, but its legs soon buckled beneath its body, too weakened to support any weight. Still, the Wolves watched the sight with interest and obscene enjoyment.

"_Not much of a fight, this one." _

"_I was expecting more."_

Their laughter rang through Irvine's ears. Breathing deeply and ignoring the sharp pain it brought in his chest, Irvine dipped his head. There was always a better fighter, always a better warrior. He expected to die in battle one day by falling to a superior pilot, one who was just one step too far ahead of him. But this was not his dream. Irvine hadn't planned on dying because of a scam.

"This can't be real," he murmured through bruised lips.

But the pain was real. Each move brought spasms from his legs to his head.

The blood was real. Its sticky, red essence was dripping from countless wounds and speckled the pilot seat.

The wolves outside the cockpit were real. Their victory howls filled the canyon.

"Damn it," Irvine managed to choke out and then laughed at the uselessness of the phrase. What good did cursing do now? The Lightning Saix's legs were broken; its speed could not aid in their escape. Irvine could barely focus on the controls in front of him. How was he to pilot an injured Zoid out of a steep canyon surrounded by Konig Wolves and a Raynos?

"To think I'd be killed by my own kind." He slowly glanced at the white Zoids outside. They were nothing more than hired mercenaries assigned to kill one of their own. And why shouldn't they? One less mercenary opens up more jobs for them and that lead to more money.

Money.

That's why Irvine had taken this job. That's why he was here. It all seemed ironic that his one goal in life also became his downfall.

"_Let's just finish this."_

"_Alright, alright. How should we do it?"_

"_We could always rip open the cockpit and put a bullet through his head." _By the sound of his voice, Irvine knew that's what the man wanted to do most. The Saix pilot shuddered.

The other sounded skeptical, _"You don't think he's dead yet?"_

"_I'd rather save my ass and make sure."_

"_Fair enough."_

Their conversation was cut off as the Wolves lowered themselves to the ground and their cockpits rose up. A man jumped out of each. The tallest one turned to his partner and shook the other's hand, a pleased grin stretched across his face. The shorter one reached for his gun and cocked it. They took several confident steps toward the crumple heap of metal that was the Lightning Saix.

Irvine rested his head on the back of the seat and closed his eyes. At least his death would be quick.

For the first time, unease settled in Irvine's stomach like a rock. He would die at the bottom of a canyon, never to be found. He would not die a hero, or even surrounded by his friends. Death would grip him in silence and no one would know or care.

The weight of this fact made salty tears stream down the mercenary's grimy face, but at the same time he hated himself for being so weak. Images of friends flashed across his eyes, as did fantasies of things that could have been, would have been, and should have been.

A rumble beneath Irvine shook him from his thoughts. The two mercenaries outside the Zoid jumped back in surprise.

A furious roar reached the ears of all within the canyon and the vibrations of it echoed for minutes. The Lightning Saix snapped at the enemy mercenaries, silver teeth flashed underneath orange eyes. He wasn't going to let the enemy kill his pilot.

"Saix," Irvine stated in wonderment. How could the great cat find the will and strength to move?

Another roar and the Lightning Saix stood on its broken legs defiantly. It slashed at the shocked men below and sent them crashing into a nearby rock. Their bodies were positioned awkwardly; Irvine knew that the blow had taken their lives. Even though pride swelled within him, Irvine couldn't fight the inevitable. Shocked and overcome with pain, he closed his eyes and waited for death to take him.

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The sunlight rested on the body of a black feline Zoid. Its armor was in shreds and in places it was completely non-existent. Dents and scratch marks decorated its lean, proud face, torso and tail. Its legs were folded beneath its body, useless now and unable to carry neither itself nor its pilot any further. A desert storm had brushed sand against the armor and let the once striking animal blend perfectly with its surroundings.

Inside the cracked cockpit, behind the dull orange eyes, rested the Zoid's pilot. Dried blood caked the side of his face while fresh blood coated his arms and legs. Bruises discolored his arms and cheeks. A peaceful look had fallen on his face, like that in death, but the slight rising and falling of his chest proved that death had yet to make its move.

Time passed and when the sun was a blood red ball sinking in the western sky, Irvine's eyelids slid open hesitantly. He was half expecting some sunny clouds and people with wings or the fires of eternal punishment, but what he saw wasn't either. The cockpit remained the way it was when he had fallen asleep, the same buttons and knobs and the same screens.

Irvine wondered how it was that he still lived when the pain washed over him like a tsunami. Alive he may be, but he was still in trouble and with no civilization in sight, hope shriveled away like rotting fruit.

As he stirred slightly, a low growl came from the center of the Zoid, _"I couldn't go any further."_

Irvine immediately looked outside; he was no longer surrounded by rocky walls, but was in the middle of a desert. "Saix," he rasped, "how did you manage to get out of the canyon?"

"_Jumped,"_ there was a very long pause and a labored cough, _"onto the back of the Raynos." _As Irvine let this process the Zoid finished, _"while you were unconscious."_

The pilot rested his head on the stained seat, not noticing the pain so much anymore. "You're amazing…always were," genuine affection rang in every word.

"_I'm sorry I couldn't . . ."_

Irvine waited for the Zoid to summon the strength.

"_. . .win this time."_

"It wasn't your fault," Irvine reassured his Zoid. "I should have thought it through more." But even as he said the nice, uplifting words, Irvine shook his head. "Naw, I don't know how I could have stopped this." The outcome seemed inevitable now. The only thing that postponed it for this long was luck. Sooner or later, if a mercenary attracts too much attention, he either gets hired by a rich man or is eliminated. And Irvine would never sell his services to only one person.

"_Do you regret . . .?" _

"I try not to regret things." Irvine didn't regret anything in his life. No choices, good or bad, were held over his head in any way. He didn't regret becoming a mercenary or joining Van and Fiona on their quest to find Zoid Eve even though this death was the result of his decisions.

Irvine frowned bitterly and watched the last glimpses of light disappear, eaten by the dark horizon. "I didn't want to die this way. I wanted to see that idiot Van again." More words flowed from his lips, "He better be taking care of Fiona. If not, I'll . . ." He trailed off, realizing there was no possibility of him taking any such action. After a deep breath Irvine confessed, "It would have been great to see them one last time," he struggled to take a breath and then finished, "them and Moonbay."

A peaceful silence fell between pilot and Zoid. Irvine ran his hands gingerly over the dashboard, the seat, and the cracked window, in an attempt to imprint the memories of the cockpit forever on his fingers. The Lightning Saix gazed out over the landscape and watched the clouds roll in the sky.

Finally Irvine sat back and whispered, "We were a good team, Saix."

"_The best,"_ the black cat replied.

"And I don't regret any of the crazy adventures we went through."

"_Agreed." _Each reply came slower and softer than the last.

Irvine ignored the stinging hurt, smirked and then let his lips fall to a straight line. His eyes soon followed and ease themselves shut for the last time. As he waited for the final sleep to come, Irvine reaffirmed himself that he didn't regret anything in his life.

Except this job, maybe he could regret this one, considering it was the one that ended his life.

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Seriously, what possessed me to kill off my favorite Zoids character? I have no idea. But the urge to write some angst hit me one day and this was the product it produced.

Definitely wordier than a lot of my one-shots, but hopefully it wasn't a bore.

Reviews are greatly appreciated!-randomcat23


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